January 21, 2001 UUCLC Healing in Our Community by Gail Dyne

I am going to tie together the way that our own healing is significantly tied to the community which we are creating since our charter membership drive began last fall. The stages of healing in this presentation come from Donald Epstein DC from Longmont, Colorado. I first heard them presented by Pamela Adams DC in Marin Co. You many know them as the principles of "Network" Chiropractic. Tools: Consciousness or awareness and energetic resources. Q: We have been asking ourselves what makes a community a vibrant experience? A: You could say it is the result of bringing our gifts from within ourselves and from others together. The wholeness of this experience generates satisfaction, strength, and well being among the members of the community. To the degree that we are successful in doing this we will form a strong community. For instance think of the makers of our great nation. From the collective strength of their efforts we are all receiving the fruits of freedom. This didn’t come about without a lot of suffering, pain and action for change. The remedy was a fully engaging experience for all of the founders of our nation. At that time the suffering of the people forced them into the awareness that something was wrong.

So too, it was during the period before the civil war. To form a more perfect union in our UU community it will be a fully engaging experience for each of us. I am going to ask that you look into yourselves and see what would prevent us from accomplishing the kind of wholeness that we envision. Whole people make for whole communities. Can you stand the muster. At our board meeting we saw a graph of our participation over the last year. It is a map of ambivalence. I will, I won’t, I will, I won’t, yes, no. I imagine that during the settling of our nation the people endured a similar period of ambivalence for a long time. Ask yourself as they did, "Do we need a more perfect union among ourselves to become the established community that we envision we can be?" I believe we do. I look forward to a Spring membership retreat in which we all get together to know each other better and continue to discover the heart of our intention for this community. We are doing well in our search for a more perfect union, for wholeness that will be attractive to build on from the greater community.

In the spirit of a more perfect union I wish to recognize those of you who participated in the Inauguration demonstration in front of the Museum in Lakeport. The suffering some of us have experienced in the process of electing a new president has been marked by a profound awareness that something is wrong. We know this by a joyless feeling in our spirit. It is as if something good inside has been denied and split off. This split off part has left us feeling loss or less than whole as some of us have shared in the past few weeks. When this happens it is hard to find the strength to mobilize, the prior organization of life temporarily leaves. Forgetfulness, foggy thinking, and pain occurrs. These are common symptoms that a person finds in her or himself when healing is necessary. Many people get stuck in this process in the first three stages. Therefore I would like you to pay close attention. Apply them to your own life and see where you are in your need for healing. In most experiences that require healing something very awful has occurred. I do not wish to infer that something awful has occurred in our UU community.

Yes we have growing pains and will need to apply key aspects of these healing stages on our journey. In the greater community of our nation we have identified a need for change and I have begun to be a part of the solution. These 12 stages of healing are meant to describe rhythms of consciousness of humanity as it applies to healing our woes. I am taking them to a higher level by applying them to the woes of our country. They are a path toward wholeness. The last stage is very significant in my life right now. I can honestly say that I have respect for each of these phases having lived a healing journey for most of my life. The rhythm of every stage requires you to pay very close attention, if you are going to know it by heart. Each stage is a distinct rhythm. Each will require close attention all the way through the process. They are sequential and represent a potent process for change. If we liken this process to a musical score, or a Jazz improvisation, each part of the rhythm is distinct and becomes part of the whole without one phrase being better than another. The point is to listen and be with the stage or phrase as you experience it, in order to know wholeness in the end.

Epstein calls his first stage Suffering.

I have said already that when suffering occurs it tells us something is wrong. Parts of our being are disconnected. Maybe because one is outside oneself in this stage he or she looks outside the self for a cure. Lesson: The lesson is acceptance that nothing works at this time, and that you are presently helpless. In our own community we have yet to identify what is not working. We have seen that our attendance shows ambivalence. (Show chart). Is it an indication that something is not working? Perhaps. This model I put forth recommends that we accept this condition for the present. It shows that we have some limitations that may stem from our lack of wholeness and we need help.

1. Polarities and rhythms: You develop some discernment about good or bad therapies, social programs, strategies, remedies and other peoples ideas. You look for the healing to take place outside yourself. In the UU community we are looking for a minister and are becoming discerning about god and bad speakers. I surmise that as we go along we will see that no speaker or minister is a magical genie who can be our savior and rescue us from distress and pain. We cannot project to others the solution to gain power over our own helplessness, using procedures, treatments or liturgy. At some time we discover we are part of this process and partly responsible for our distress or ambivalence in this case.
2. Stuck in a perspective: In this stage you need to recognize responsibility for being stuck in your perspective. You have no clue what to do about it. People get depressed at this point and many of them never go beyond this phase. Depression is the space of time between the realization that something needs to change and the time to change it. (2x’s) Taking responsibility is a freeing stage because we can, for instance, choose to be happy. If you take medication for a physical pain the condition, in many cases will be prolonged. If we wait for someone else to take the problem away, the problem stays the same. We don’t get let off the hook when it comes to growth and responsibility and personal power.
Examine your own perspective. Do you think it is self limiting?
3. Reclaiming our power At this point many people return to stew in their own suffering again. To go on now, having seen the script of our self created perspective that has lead to depression, we must become angry that we held onto to it for so long. Her we cry, "I’m mad and I’m not going to take it any longer." We no longer want to dishonor ourselves and believe we deserve more. You retrace in you mind when you started getting angry, to know better the cost of holding onto the illusion of your perspective.
4. Merging with the Illusion This stage is associated with having enough sense of self to face the alienated or rejected parts of oneself, the "shadow" or "light" to heal the illusion and create more wholeness. In this phase you need to choose helpers, family and friends who can support you to feel thee feelings. It is an emotional time and can feel like the worst is yet to happen. In fact that is only energy building up for the next phase. K
Are you willing to talk about the limitation your perspective puts on this community?
5. Preparation for resolution We feel the build up of tension inside for change. The idea is that I hang on the hardest before I let go. It is not good to try to figure it out and avoid the feelings that need to arise. Many people argue with themselves and become too cerebral. That will only make it last longer. The alienated, traumatized, denied or redirected consciousness or energy is moving towards being prepared for discharge and resolution. The lesson is to develop flexibility to continue the process. Doing something new, anything at this point, is useful. Keeping moving will bring on the next stage. Flexibility is the key phrase to accomplish healing now.
6. Resolution "I let go of the source of my suffering." Discharge of bio-electric energy is associated with a discharge of mechanical energy. Bodily movements, fever, coughing, diarrhea, sneezing, or vomiting are common forms of discharge. Crying, screaming, and laughing are also discharge phenomena. When discharge occurs after the first six stages resolution can occur with the discharge. When a sense of accomplishment, peace, and inner strength accompanies the process, then resolution has been achieved.
7. Emptiness in connectedness The loss of the old self before the new self has taken hold can feel very empty. This is a place of possibilities. We adopt gratitude, vulnerability, and connection with the world around us to realign the sense of self to events around us. We welcome serendipity as a natural way of life.
8. Light behind the form From a place of emptiness and gratitude we begin to see things we had not seen before, see the bigger picture. Joy and gratitude and the awareness of the flow of the life force within give us a full experience of our connection to others.
9. Ascent Now we can experience a sense of union with the creative force in the universe. We gain the wisdom of knowing the oneness of all creation during this stage. We merge with light and love.
10. Descent We reenter into the world again after being renewed beyond our limits and sense of self. We know we are part of all we perceive and responsible for all we know. We live without being attached to our situations. We love and serve.
11. Community We experience our involvement with humanity and recognize that wholeness comes from bringing our individual gifts into community. We recognize that all our choices are spiritual ones and affect all beings. We do not experience the same pattern of thinking the way we have before. Because we feel free the old words do not limit us. We actually change the pattern.

We know that our limits stem from our own lack of wholeness. Consequently when we feel disconnected again, we return to stage one and enter this process toward wholeness with greater understanding of our responsibility for our life. In conclusion I reiterate, cutting through illusions, fixed ideas of life, in any form is a necessary process if we are going to know wholeness. It is the only way we can work toward a more perfect union within and with others to strengthen our commitment to the UU community. I invite all of you to look within for greater self knowledge to give birth to your own healing. Apply the understanding of how healing takes place and share your process with us as it is unfolding. Remember no part of the process is more significant than another. To become attached to the outcome will loose the momentum for healing. Be where you are. What comes first the chicken or the egg. Can we heal without knowledge of how the healing process takes place? Probably so. Does it help to know the map to know the territory? Probably so. Hopefully you will find this a provocative presentation. Let it be a guide to your own personal awareness for growth and strengthen your commitment to help us grow as a community.